HA’AZINU

So, I know the phrase is “karma’s a bitch” but for the sake of today’s Torah talk I wanna change it to “dharma’s a bitch. ” What I mean by that is exemplified in this week’s parshah, Ha’azinu. Poor Moses, once again, is denied entrance into the land of Israel because it is not part of his Dharma. Moses’ dharma was to take the Israelites from Egypt and help them transform into a nation that would succeed independently and in the face of great adversity.  

In this week’s portion Moses gives his swansong. Literally, he is singing to the Israelites about how to succeed in life and beyond. We may not know the tune anymore but Moses’ creates a song of  joy and sorrow, of recollections and predictions for the Israelites. And like any good musical theater, where the final song is a show stopper, Moses’ last number creates a permanent memory for the Israelites to carry with them and to pass down from generation to generation. According to the text he puts a song in their ear which- well… 

Let’s  step back for a moment and think about an earworm. Do you know what an earworm is? You do, but you may not have known it was called that. It’s that song or tune in your head that you just can’t get out. You’re not even sure how it got in there in the first place. Maybe it was a snippet through an open window or something in the background on the radio. Or a ring tone or a memory that somehow surfaces and plays over and over and over and over in your mind. 

Well…Moses plants an earworm. And he plants it with the hope it will be remembered. With the confidence that this song with remind the Jewish people of their covenant with Gd, even if they only hear a snippet.

 Song and learning through song helps us remember and recall more easily. I mean, how many of us can sing songs we learned in elementary school, or even before that. All the words to a commercial or jingle, maybe a television show or from music class, from the dinner table. Ok, now how about the speech we had to give at our Bar or Bat Mitzvah? Or even more recently, like a presentation for work or a friend’s wedding or your own special occasion? Mmmm… maybe you can recall phrase or idea, but the whole damn thing? Not likely you can remember lock, stock and barrel from beginning to end. At least, I can’t. 

Scientists have been studying this phenomenon. There are several published research papers showing recall is better after learning sung rather than spoken word. One possible reason because of an idea called chunking. We clump like phrases together in a way that helps us recall better. Using functional MRIs to study music and memory neuroscientists have shown that the seat of emotional memory , the Limbic system, and the pre-frontal cortex- auditory and motor memory , the becomes more active while listening to music. Song and music evokes memory in a way spoken word can’t. We may not understand all the nuts and bolts of how this works but suffice it to say songs help us remember.  

So I ask you, what is your song? What is your dharma? What is the song that is in and of your heart? What is the song that’s meant to be played and you are meant to sing? Because when you are singing your song, you don’t have to worry if it is not good enough for anyone else to hear. It is good enough for everyone else to hear because it is your song. 

KI’TETZE

I dislike Deuteronomy. The book of the Torah, and the Cat (see Andrew Lloyd Weber, or TS Eliot for the reference). I have to be honest with you, I am not inspired by this week’s Torah portion, Ki Tetze. I have thought and thought and thought about this parshah and I am not inspired. Period. I have reread it so many times and still haven’t come away feeling more spiritually fulfilled. But, just because I am not inspired doesn’t mean I can’t gain some knowledge or have an appreciation for what it represents. It is a list of rules and regs (the most of any other portion in Torah)- mitzvot- that sometimes seem archaic and completely bias against certain groups of people, at least by today’s standards. However, other times they make complete sense with regards to how we negotiate relationships. They are an expansion of the 10 Commandments. “Thou shalt not steal, ”right? You walk across your neighbor’s yard and, yeah, you grab a blackberry or two but you don’t take the bush out and carry it home. If your come across something that doesn’t belong to you, you return it, you don’t covet it. These are basic niceties. 

So what is the guiding principle of these basic niceties that we do in order to live in harmony with those around us? How do we act to build relationships, to create a more peaceful world? The answer is that our actions need to be done with integrity. 

The definition of integrity means to act with honesty and wholeness of Self.  It comes from Integer in Latin, meaning untainted (or wholeness). In Hebrew there is a similar word: Shlemut, which means completeness or wholeness and has the same root for Shalom. It reminds me of the yogic principle of Ahimsa- non-harming. When we act with integrity, when we act in a way that promotes wholeness  of being we don’t harm. We don’t take our neighbor’s stuff. We don’t favor one child over another. We don’t falsely accuse someone of a crime. We take measures to protect others from injury, we leave extra for those in need. We act with Integrity. In the non-harming we create a world of Shalom, of peace, of oneness with  each other and Gd. 

When we practice yoga we work to integrate our breath and our movement. We integrate all the moving parts to create stability, strength and flexibility. Our goal is to find integrity of Self. When we practice honestly (and live honestly for that matter) we can tap into our true Selves, which as I have said before, is a sliver of Divinity within each of us. 

When you divide a whole number ( AN INTEGER!) by 1, it remains that number. If we have integrity we are always whole, no matter how we divide ourselves. We are true to our Self under every circumstance. Similarly, if you divide a number by itself you get one- an integer. So you still end up with wholeness. No matter how many ways you split yourself, if you remain true to your connection to Gd, your Self, you will always remain whole and peaceful.

Wow, maybe in retrospect I got more out of the parshah than I thought.

V’ETCHANAN

Transitions are not easy, even ones you invite or choose. Those that happen without our acquiescence or those that happen without our desire for them are just that much more difficult. And the transition doesn’t have to be big to be hard. It could be as big move, new job or the end of a relationship. But it could be as simple as buying a new bra- it can be uncomfortable. For those of you who have never done it, trust me, it can be uncomfortable. And when we go through transition we rely on our habits and our strength. We have to dig deep sometimes and turn into ourselves to move through the change with grace. 

So imagine what Moses must have been going through when the Israelites finally, FINALLY, reach the edge of “the promised land”. They can see it. Some have even been there to touch it, feel it and taste it. But not Moses. Moses doesn’t get to go. Not only that, Moses is being transitioned away from his leadership role. It’s time for him to hand over the reins. It is time for him to look death squarely in the face and be prepared for whatever, if anything, is next beyond. That’s tough. And Moses has no choice.

In our lives, similarly, sometimes we don’t have a choice either. We go through transitions- sometimes they are ones we want, and they are different from what we anticipated. Sometimes they are not ones we ask for. Rarely are they as smooth sailing as we imagine. How do we handle those transitions? The ones that are not what we expect. We can turn back to this week’s parshah once again. Moses recounts that as the Children of Israel transform from wanderers to homesteaders that if they cleave to, if they yoke themselves to Gd by following the 10 Commandments and by having the firm belief that there is only The one Gd that Gd will make that transition easier. Gd will provide everything that they need to not only survive but to thrive. 

Where do we see the application of this in our lives today? Well, I think it is obvious where we see this in our lives today, right. We make good choices- we get good things. We don’t make good choices we don’t get good things ( I’d like to credit my sister Amy for that saying, which you may have heard or read from me before). Maybe it is not that easy. But, if we choose to live an ethical life, to follow the tenet’s of Torah then we will  be in relationships that are filled with love and compassion and that support can make the transition easier. If we are in a loving and compassionate relationship with ourselves then we have the ability to move through change with strength and flexibility to navigate the uncertainty. And maybe some sweetness can even be found. 

What does this have to do with yoga? So yoga means to yoke. I’m pretty sure that some of you already know that. Yoga is more than just a physical practice. If fact, it coexists with the observance of what we call the Yamas and Niyamas in Sanskrit. These are rules of the road. They are 10 commandments that govern how we should act and behave in relationship with ourselves, Gd and those around us. Sound familiar? When we practice yoga, all of yoga- which includes these 10 tenets of behavior, we have the ability to find enlightenment, i.e. connection to Gd. When we make the connection to Gd, perhaps the transitions can be a little less uncomfortable and a lot more graceful.

CHUKAT

I have this need for my house to look neat and clean before I go upstairs every night. I have to declutter and put everything in pile so that in the morning it is going to look like it belongs in Home and Garden or House Beautiful magazine. I just guess it soothes my sensibilities. It is a need I don’t really even understand and I know my husband does not get it. But, even though he doesn’t get it, he will help me straighten up and put things away knowing that it is important to me. He trusts that it’s of value to me and even though it is something that he cannot understand, because it doesn’t soothe his sensibilities, he does it anyway. 

That is what this week’s Torah portion is at least partly about.  In the parshah Chukat, at the very beginning a decree is made that defies any rational or known explanation. It’s the mitzvah of the red heifer. Ok. For all of you who may not know what a heifer is- it is a cow that has never been pregnant and therefore very young. And this particular cow has to be red- all over. Not black and white and red all over but RED. Also, she could not have worked a day in her life. Sounds like a pretty enviable position, right? Young, beautiful, svelte, living a life of luxury... well, until she is sacrificed. There goes the life of luxury. But she sacrifices her life to provide the ingredients for ritual purity for those who have been in contact with the dead. You may ask: Why is this sacrifice different from all other sacrifices? Well for 2 reasons: 1) its female, 2) it’s performed outside the Temple. We could spend a whole lot of time talking about this. But, I will give you the opportunity to look it up and we will move on. 

So this sacrifice of the red heifer is unexplainable. At least in the human mind. For millennia, literally thousands of years, people- rabbis, scholars, lay folk like you and me- have tried to understand and explain why this commandment has been put in the Torah. Essentially, everyone has come to the conclusion that it is about trust. It’s like cleaning the house because you trust that it’s what someone wants or needs even if you don’t “get” why. You trust because you love, you do it to build and maintain relationships, you do it “because.” And not just “because I told you to.” We (used to) perform the mitzvah of the red heifer even though we don’t get it because if we have a loving relationship with Gd and Gd asks us to do it then we do, just because. 

Trust is not easy. Trust in ourselves, in others and in the universe is something that requires, well at least for me, a lot of work. I am envious of those people who just give it up to Gd. My wise cousin used to say “let go and let Gd.” This has never been an easy task for me. But, I am learning that if I understood everything then there would be no opportunity for growth and learning. 

In the Anusara tradition of yoga the heart is the center of grace. There is our left and right sides and our front and back bodies. I am not a certified Anusara teacher and I won’t purport myself to be an expert. What I have come to learn through my teachers (who are) and my studies, is that the front body- the part we are aware of all the time- represents our personal self. The back body- the part of us that we so rarely pay attention to- symbolizes the Universe. In today’s modern world we spent most of the time thinking about ourselves, living in our front body. We coil in and retract our hearts, the seat of Divine truth. We stop sharing our true Self and our connection to Gd. We have to trust that Gd has our backs, even if we can’t understand that. 

The other lesson of Chukat is that to understand is an intellectual pursuit. As Jews we embody Torah and therefore can experience it in our bodies, not our heads alone. Sometimes we have to “trust our guts” even when our brains cannot process what is going on. 

In our practice today I invite you to set an intention to try and turn down the volume of your thoughts, listen to your body instead. I invite you to let the Universe have your back and hold your heart and to trust the breath to take you where you need to be even if you don’t understand why. 

EMOR

What is required to be in the presence of Gd? You would think from reading the Torah portion, its perfection that leads to ritual purity. But nobody is perfect. Well, nobody is perfect… all the time. I think you could, in fact, argue that we are only perfect when we are in the presence of Gd because we are a reflection of Gd. And, in theory(although I am happy to debate this), Gd is perfect. In the meanwhile, how do we deal with our perfectly imperfect selves when we really crave to be, need to be, in the presence of Gd? And more importantly, when we need to be in the presence of Gd on behalf of someone else. 

The priests are required to be in the presence of Gd on behalf of the People Israel. It is their job to bring sacrifice and offering to Gd in the Holy of Holies. And from what I gather, that is a full time job. I also think they eat a whole lot of lamb. And Matzah. Not sure about vegtables. But I digress about what they digest. Ha! 

Anyway, the Torah portion goes on to say that any priest that has a deformity or physical defect (they don’t say anything about emotional defect but maybe that is there too) is not allowed to serve. But my question is: if we are all a reflection of Gd or made in Gd’s image, shouldn’t these people be considered perfect and holy? After all, it is not their choice that they were born with one leg shorter than the other or something like that. Now, if you told me about behavioral stuff, (and I am not talking about mental illness which probably can’t be helped because of biochemical changes in our brain) I could then understand how you wouldn’t want that person to serve. Because, they may not be doing it in the best interest of the People Israel. They may not be doing it with a true, open heart. It might be for other reasons or out of mere obligation rather than desire. 

So I guess I am looking for the deeper meaning since we are perfectly imperfect. We’re also all imperfectly perfect. So maybe it is the intention that we bring when we serve. Maybe its letting go of the Ego version of “Perfection” to accept that we are enough.  We can’t always help our physical appearance. Certainly can’t help how we are shaped: the length of our limbs, the shape of our nose (excluding our use of Botox or CoolSculpt). But we can control what we can control so…. 

Think about that as we practice yoga. Can you surrender yourself to your Self; can you devote yourself to the Divine within- what is called Ishvarapranidhana in yogic terms? Not everyone’s Warrior 2 will look like an Instagram post or like Mr. Iyengar in “Light on Yoga”. But who said that that is the ideal? Your ideal is YOUR ideal. Your perfection is YOUR perfection. How you refine and the attitude you bring to be in the presence of something greater than yourself is what defines ritual purity. 

TSAV

We have an endless source of energy that is our breath. It continually stokes the fire that allows us to offer of ourselves without “burning out”

When we are in command of our breath we can make a stronger connection to our strengths, our positive qualities and then share them with others. On the other hand, when we let our breath control us we tend to be reactive or defensive.

For instance, when we are angry or anxious our breath tends to get rapid, uncontrolled and shallow. These emotions come from our ego, our self-made identity. If we take control of our breath we can often allow these negative emotions to pass and our minds to quiet. We reestablish a connection to our true Self which is a representation of Gd, the divine. 

TE’ZEVAH

So Clothes make the man, right? Or, dress for success. What does this mean? It means that what you wear projects who you are or what you want to be. It’s the outward appearance and manifestation of personality, right? An expression of how we think of ourselves or hold ourselves in this world. In this week’s Torah portion, Tetzaveh, Aaron is clothed in an outfit to make himself more holy. He is preparing to become the High Priest, and there is an elaborate description of the articles of clothing he is meant to wear when he comes into G-d’s presence. He starts with the basics, right. The first layer is unadorned white linen. Each new layer becomes more and more embellished - elaborate, colorful and precious. And each is added in a specific order. Maybe this description is a metaphor for what we are, or should aim to be if we want to communicate with Gd. It’s not really about the articles of clothes but how we behave. 

Underneath it all, at our heart’s center, we are pure. If we want to dress for spiritual success we need to 

add layers with the intention of making ourselves more beautiful, not necessarily in an aesthetic way but in a way that enhances and brings out our godliness, our divinity, our holiness. We have the choice about how we carry ourselves and what we wear, metaphorically. We can choose to elevate ourselves to a higher plane with magnificent trappings. 

BUT… You have to do things in order and get dressed in a certain order or it doesn’t make sense right? If you put on the fancy scarf before you put on your underwear or your shirt, nobody is going to see it. So you gotta do things in the right order in order to see/appreciate the embellishment. I suppose you could wear a fancy bra and underwear but you don’t share that with the world. Or maybe you do, I don’t know. 

This parshah reminds me of the physical practice of yoga. When we The definition of Vinyasa is to place in a special way, we have to do things in a certain order to be able to reach the embellishment. We have to “get dressed” in a certain order. We can’t just pop into handstand or flying pigeon. We have to move with intention and start with the basics, warm ourselves up and gently add piece by piece, layer by layer ‘til we put on the final flourishing touches. Just like Aaron didn’t put on his headpiece until his tunic was tied and the breastplate was placed, etc. During the practice I invite you to honor your Gd given structure, and contemplate how you can build upon the basics and create something of beauty, or majesty, and worthiness to co-mingle with god. If we build our structure soundly, layer upon layer starting with the not so fancy basics and build outward, we get to the fancy-schmancy, the end , the flourish, the expansion into magnificence. 

Conversely, when we add layers to our most basic we can create something special, elevated, if it is done with the right intention. So, we have the choice about how we carry ourselves and what we wear, metaphorically. We can choose to elevate ourselves to a higher plane with magnificent trappings. We could choose to acknowledge and elevate those around us; as Aaron does wearing his breastplate with the 12 tribes represented and his epaulets, also inscribed with the names of the tribes, as he presents himself to Gd, he brings everyone with him. 

Maybe as we practice today we can think about what we are like at our most basic. Right, in the center of everything, underneath it all, all the layers we have added over the years, we at most pure, like the white pants and tunic that Aaron and the priests wear. In some respects the most, the closest of our own expression of Gd. And maybe we can add layers with the intention of making ourselves more beautiful, not necessarily in an aesthetic way but in a way that enhances and brings out that godliness, that divinity, that holiness, that then allows us to walk into the holy of holies and directly communicate with god. And I invite you in the practice today to extend your own unique expression of what you choose to wear in your physical body and how you choose to express it. 

You have to do things in order and get dressed in a certain order or it doesn’t make sense right? If you put on the fancy scarf before you put on your underwear or your shirt, nobody is going to see it. So you gotta do things in the right order in order to see/appreciate the embellishment. I suppose you could wear a fancy bra and underwear but you don’t share that with the world. Or maybe you do, I don’t know. Just like when we practice yoga. When we practice vinyasa, to place in a special way, we have to do things in a certain order to be able to reach the embellishment

We can’t just pop into handstand or flying pigeon. We have to move with intention and start with the basics, warm ourselves up and gently add piece by piece, layer by layer ‘til we put on the final flourishing touches. That is to say, I don’t know what the Ephod is or the Urim or Tammim but I know if we layer structure upon structure, beauty upon beauty, ultimately, the structure is what is Gd given. We all have our Gd given structure, and how can we build upon the basics and create something of beauty, or majesty, worthiness to co-mingle with god. And how do we find that co-mingling within ourselves, well, again, if we build our structure soundly, layer upon layer starting with the not so fancy basics and add deeper layers and build outward, we get to the fancy-schmancy, the end , the flourish, the expansion into magnificence. 

And over time, we add layers and become more complicated. Perhaps, happily, it is with more flamboyant or more colorful choices. Or maybe sometimes all these layers (foisted upon us or chosen haphazardly) just wear us down and what we really need to do is strip them off and get down to basics and then start again. 


Yom Kippur

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I cry every year during Yom Kippur. At the end of the day, standing in front of the open Ark, saying a personal prayer. Every year I pray for the same thing. To rediscover my true self, where bliss resides. And that prayer moves me to tears. It is not about asking for forgiveness, or saying I will be better therefore, I deserve to be sealed into the book of life. No, it is about finding my Self that got lost along the way and forgiving myself. Its about remembering others may have to and being compassionate towards them. It’s about peeling back the layers that obstruct the view to my heart’s heart. It’s about opening and passing through those gates that metaphorically close during the Ne’eilah service. It’s about connecting back to a self that in turn connects with Gd, because I am a piece of that Divine energy.

Yom Kippur is called the Day of Atonement. In English, we use that word to mean repentance and apology. Over the year, I have made poor choices I regret and actions I am are sorry for but I have not saved up my amends for this one day. Nor do most of us, I don’t think.  We realize our mistakes and try to do better every day. So instead of using Yom Kippur as a day of apology and chest beating ( although there is that too ) I prefer to change the syllabic accent from a-TONE-ment to At-One-ment.

This day reminds me that I am At One with Gd.  In my innermost sanctum, my Holy of Holies I am my own high priest and perform my service so that I can feel the ecstasy of Divine spark as it settles over my ark of the Covenant.  It also reminds me that I am responsible for that connection.

That is where the yoga comes in. Getting on the mat and practicing reminds us to turn inward and listen to ourselves. To acknowledge all parts and discern which truly belong to us and which are lacquer. The practice begs that we recognize our strengths and shortcomings and adjust ourselves appropriately to stay aligned with our heart of hearts. When we step off the mat we carry the yoga with us, the message in our muscle memory, to remain aligned with our true selves.

So I pray each year that I remember to align with my true self and feel the blissful feeling of being one with Gd. So that the tears will be of joy.


Vayigash

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I’ve come to the conclusion that in order to truly, truly be able to find unconditional love and empathy for someone you can’t resent them or hold a grudge. Let me go back. I recently had a birthday, a big one. So I have been looking back and reflecting on the past, well, lots of years. Recently, I have noticed that my relationships have grown stronger. I am finding new connections with people I struggled with in the past. My mood and outlook have been more positive. I started to wonder why. Then it hit me. I have been able to let go of the feelings of ill will I was holding on to.  So it got me wondering more generally, can we build a meaningful and genuine relationship with someone or find compassion for them if we resent them? What else can we gain by letting go? My answer to the first question was no, but to the second- a ton! I had to let go of my negative feelings in order to create the space for those positive ones and to build my relationships. I will admit, it took/takes work, reflection and is not easy to do.

I’ll give you an example. For many years I was bitter towards several people I felt prevented me from succeeding at work the way I wanted to. I held so much anger and resentment I was burning out and burning bridges. I was stuck and pretty miserable. I finally said, this is enough. At the suggestion of a life coach I wrote each of them a letter listing why I was angry at them and then forgiving them. Of course I never sent the letters; but when I was done, I felt that so much had been lifted from me. I could start to see their side of the situation. I could be compassionate. In that space of empathy my career flourished and I began to cultivate better relationships. I developed a deeper connection to myself and in turn was able to access more love and a greater spirituality. When I read this week’s Torah Portion, Vayigash, I was reminded of all that I had been through.

But before we get to this week’s parshah, let me catch you up on what you may have missed. In previous chapters, Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers and ended up in Egypt. He rose from prisoner to Pharaoh’s #2. Joseph’s brothers heard about the rationing in Egypt and paid a visit to the royal court to see if they could get some food. They never suspected that the guy sitting in front of them hearing their plea was their brother.  And I suppose that Joseph never figured he would see his family again, that he had closed the door on that possibility or desire. (I mean, he was successful, his dreams essentially had come true. He could have gone home and seen Jacob, or sent for him.) Yet there they were, the men who “ruined” his life and tried to kill him. Can you imagine how Joseph must have felt? If it were me, I think resentment, sadness and anger would come raging back as my initial reaction too.  Maybe I would be thinking, now I can get even. So it seems that Joe actually was feeling a little passive aggressive towards his family. He promised them food and supplies but meanwhile imprisoned his youngest brother, just cuz he could. Not to punish Benjamin but the others who had destroyed life as he knew it. In other words, he held a grudge. He had no empathy for his family. I bet you can start to see where this is going.

Our story continues… This chapter opens with Judah, pleading with Joseph to release their brother before they returned to Canaan. See, he was afraid it would destroy their dad to lose his favorite son, again. He could have chosen to resent his father for not loving him equally, resent Benjamin for being the favorite. He could have held a grudge against his other brothers for making him the spokesman. Instead, he chose to let go of his hurt thinking not of himself and not only of Benjamin, but of Jacob and his needs as well. Joseph recognized his brother’s transformation and instead of holding his anger let his go too.  By forgiving his brother he was able to rekindle love for his family and mend broken relationships. Joseph saw in him the ability to look beyond himself in a moment of hurting and need and desired to connect with him. Don’t you think the message here is that when we are able to be empathetic we make connections that one day may save our own lives? As a result of their willingness to let go Joseph and Judah were, literally, able to save themselves and fulfill Gd’s promise that they would become a great nation.

I already told you one way that I was able to start to let go of my resentment. The other way was through doing yoga. We hold resentment in our bodies as well as our minds. Past hurts, emotional and spiritual, hide in our tissues: muscles, ligaments and fascia, in a way that makes us stuck. We become tight and unable to move, unable to open. It is hard to think of others when you are in pain. The pelvis and hips are our main storage compartment for those grudges and resentments and other unpleasantries Our junk drawers as it were. I am pretty willing to bet that you have a junk drawer at home (I have one in every room). No one likes to clean out their junk drawer. We just stuff more stuff in there until we can’t even open it. Eventually, we need to empty it out or it spills in a way we can’t control. Similarly, we can just keep stuffing more stuff into our hips and pelvis but eventually we will develop physical limitations. As a urologist I deal with tons of patients with pelvic floor disorders and dysfunction. Guess what? They almost all say that by dealing with past hurts it helps their present symptoms. And, there is data to back that up.

So, you have probably guess by now that today we are going to clean our junk drawers and make space in our hips and pelvis. We want to make space for compassion and empathy by letting go of past hurts and resentments. During your practice you may experience discomfort, and not just physical. Be kind and compassionate to yourself first and acknowledge your sensations. Let them come without judging them and then let them go. By opening our pelvis and hips we also can feel more grounded, more creative and more free. As you reflect on this week’s parshah, I invite you to emulate Judah and Joseph and let go of those old thought patterns of negativity and allow love to flood back in and make connections with others and with God.


Beha-alotecha:

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TO RAISE UP. To light a spiritual flame

“And you light up my life, You give me hope to carry on, You light up my days and fill my nights with song.”

We all want someone or something to light up our lives, something to connect to. We all need connection, to ourselves, to one another and to Gd. In Beha-alotecha, we learn that we can bring our own light and create those connections.

At the start of the Torah Portion, Aaron is charged with the responsibility of lighting the Menorah in the Tabernacle. Each day he lights the 7 wicks and he tends to them with such care that they do not go out,  each branch making the light brighter. His intention is to create a relationship that brings G-d into the presence of man. His act of creating light from a place love is akin to striking a spiritual spark. As a leader, his example tacitly gives all of us permission to do the same.

We can elevate ourselves to a greater spiritual level, become closer to Gd by igniting and tending to our inner fire. Each of us has that capability. We all hold the spark of creation- ours and the world’s. Literally, in each of us are atoms from the Big Bang. Each of us has the power to fan that glow into a flame that reaches beyond ourselves. We can create a universe!

So you might ask, how can I live my life so that I can light up the world? It starts with the breathe. Fire needs oxygen to burn. With each inhale we nourish our fire. Through our practice we can learn how to deepen our breath and keep it even, letting our fire grow consistently more intense without burning out. With each exhale we can choose our words and manifest our thoughts.  Through a voice of compassion and loving kindness we can shine our light on others and create the connections we all crave.

And in the dark moments each of us has, when the light seems dim, our breath will remind us that the fire never goes out. We don’t even have to think about it, it happens unconsciously, that we are breathed by G-d. The potential for connection is always there.

Debbie Boone must have understood the power of the breath as she belted out those words, lighting up my world with song.


TETZAVEH

So clothes make the man, right? Or, dress for success. What does this mean? It means that what you wear projects who you are or what you want to be. It’s the outward appearance and manifestation of personality, right? An expression of how we think of ourselves or hold ourselves in this world. In this week’s Torah portion, Tetzaveh, Aaron is clothed in an outfit to make himself more holy. He is preparing to become the High Priest, and there is an elaborate description of the articles of clothing he is meant to wear when he comes into G-d’s presence. He starts with the basics, right. The first layer is unadorned white linen. Each new layer becomes more and more embellished - elaborate, colorful and precious. And each is added in a specific order. Maybe this description is a metaphor for what we are, or should aim to be if we want to communicate with Gd. It’s not really about the articles of clothes but how we behave.

Underneath it all, at our heart’s center, we are pure. If we want to dress for spiritual success we need to

add layers with the intention of making ourselves more beautiful, not necessarily in an aesthetic way but in a way that enhances and brings out our godliness, our divinity, our holiness. We have the choice about how we carry ourselves and what we wear, metaphorically. We can choose to elevate ourselves to a higher plane with magnificent trappings.

BUT… You have to do things in order and get dressed in a certain order or it doesn’t make sense right? If you put on the fancy scarf before you put on your underwear or your shirt, nobody is going to see it. So you gotta do things in the right order in order to see/appreciate the embellishment. I suppose you could wear a fancy bra and underwear but you don’t share that with the world. Or maybe you do, I don’t know.

This parshah reminds me of the physical practice of yoga. When we The definition of Vinyasa is to place in a special way, we have to do things in a certain order to be able to reach the embellishment. We have to “get dressed” in a certain order. We can’t just pop into handstand or flying pigeon. We have to move with intention and start with the basics, warm ourselves up and gently add piece by piece, layer by layer ‘til we put on the final flourishing touches. Just like Aaron didn’t put on his headpiece until his tunic was tied and the breastplate was placed, etc. During the practice I invite you to honor your Gd given structure, and contemplate how you can build upon the basics and create something of beauty, or majesty, and worthiness to co-mingle with gd. If we build our structure soundly, layer upon layer starting with the not so fancy basics and build outward, we get to the fancy-schmancy, the end , the flourish, the expansion into magnificence.

Vayiera

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I thought that I might take the easy way out this week and reoffer the wisdom and sequence from Rosh Hashanah, after all it is the same parshah. My life has been so hectic, I figured that no one would mind and maybe they would even appreciate a second go round. But then, as I steeped myself in the Torah portion , a new theme appeared to me; one I hadn’t noticed before. Ironically, that is the theme. When we invite in and listen to G-d, G-d will show us that what we need is right in front of us when we need it. Maybe that something isn’t always obvious. But if we carefully tune in we will notice it is there. That gut feeling, the tug of the heart that some call intuition, could it possibly be the voice of the Divine revealing a truth and solution?

Have you ever thought you were in an impossible situation? One you couldn’t possibly “survive” in a positive way only to have an A-ha moment and come out smelling like a rose? I know I have. Or have you ever gone against your gut and kicked yourself afterwards? Ok, like all the time (did I just say that out loud?). Like Bill Engvall says: There’s your sign. Our intuition may be the voice of G-d whispering in our ear.

In the yoga tradition the seat of Intuition sits right between our ears. The 6th Chakra, Ajna, is at the 3rd eye, between our eyebrows. It is associated with spiritual contemplation and perception of the Divine. When we open up and allow our energy to flow through the seat of intuition we are able to see clearly what we need to “survive”, to walk our true path. The authors of the Torah seem to be telling us this over and over in this week’s parshah. I counted 4 times: When Abraham receives the Angels he ensures his lineage will continue, Lot invites in the Angels and ensures his survival while the rest of Sodom is destroyed ( meanwhile, his wife didn’t trust the Divine message ended up a pillar of salt), Hagar heard and heeded the voice of G-d and saw the well which would ensure her survival and Abraham noticed the ram, once again ensuring survival of his lineage. I wonder if part of the reason we wear T’fillin between our eyebrows, at our 6th Chakra, is to remind us of the oneness of G-d and intuition?

Rosh Hashanah

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When we choose to bind ourselves to a higher purpose we find unbounded freedom. This is how I can justify the Akedah, the Torah Portion we read on Rosh Hashanah. Gd asks Abraham to take his son Isaac for sacrifice. Abraham and Isaac go up willingly to follow the word of Gd. Isaac volunteers to be bound, trusting that he will find freedom through his faith. According to Midrash, he even asks the binds be tight so that he won’t struggle. Then, he and Abraham find Grace and revelation of Gd. What I take away from this potentially devastating story is that self-Sacrifice is not the point, it’s a willingness to be tied to Divine wisdom. When we choose what we bind to, how we practice (Judaism, yoga, every daily action)  reflects our intention to move closer to that Divine and grants us freedom to reveal our true inner selves.

The premise of Rosh Hashanah is T’shuvah- to return. Every year we are invited to return to our true selves. How do we do that? One choice is to start on the mat. By turning inward during meditation and being fully present with ourselves. By noticing our tendencies, imbalances, reactions to our practice as we move through asana. As we get to know ourselves better we can start to separate the Ego from Self. Through our actions we can gain greater access to our heart center, the seat of the Spirit. Said another way: our actions can grant us a greater freedom for Gd to be revealed to us.

We talk about the “Book of Life”, who will live and who will die. Instead of thinking about whether I will live or not, I try and concentrate on how I will live. What will I bind myself to in order to find the freedom of true self-expression and a deeper connection to a higher spiritual power? On the flip side, what am I bound to which prevents me from this? What stories do I tell myself that I don’t want in my book of life? After all, we write our own biographies, we get to choose what goes in.


Vayeitzei

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How do you feel when you are told: “not yet, one more thing, just a minute” before you can attain what you have been waiting for? How do you react when the goal itself is a moving target? What is required of you to reach that goal? Joyce Meyer, an American author, wrote: “Patience is not just the ability to wait, it is how we behave while we are waiting.” We can learn a lesson from Jacob in this week’s parshah, Vayeitzei. Jacob’s mom, Rebecca sends him away to protect him after he steals the birthright from his twin brother and royally pisses him off.  He travels to an unknown land to find a wife amongst his relatives. In twisted fairy tale fashion, he instantly falls in love with his cousin Rachel but gets duped by his uncle and gets stuck marrying her older sister by a slight of hand and has to wait 14 years to finally call Rachel his wife free and clear. It is another 6 before he can even take his bride(s) home. (Can you even call them brides if they were married for so long before the honeymoon?) And spoiler alert, there is not a happy ending.

So, what can this story of Jacob teach us? He teaches us about patience and trust in Gd. Jacob has to be patient to achieve what he wants. He also has to trust his dreams will come true. But, being patient does not mean being idle.  He teaches us about perseverance. He is not merely biding his time until Laban gives him the green light to go. He is working “behind the scenes” to gain wealth and independence. He is learning to stand up for himself. He is cultivating a family. And all through it he is passionate and steadfast in his love for Rachel and in his trust of Gd’s promise that came to him in a dream- twice. Yowza, it is a lot of work being patient! Harriet Tubman must have been thinking of Jacob when she said: “Every Great Dream begins with a great dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

The practice of yoga gives us a space to study how we behave when we need to wait for something we want, or want to be over.  Are you like me- Chomping at the bit, anticipating the next move, interrupting and impatient? Do you become lazy, bored or complacent? Maybe lulled into a false sense of security? Perhaps, we can find a balance, allow our breath to pace ourselves and use the moment in between the action to connect deeper to ourselves and Gd and trust that with strength, patience and passion we can be great dreamers; that dreams can come true and we can change the world.


Yitro

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You know how when you are doing a puzzle or solving a problem there comes a time when you are getting close to finishing where, all of a sudden you can see the answer, everything lines up and you have that moment of discovery? There is sort moment of recognition, of revelation, of “I got this”. Sometimes it’s a “Duh, of course I got this” or “Aha, now I finally get it” and other times it is a “EUREKA!” But it is always accompanied by that moment of celebration and that bliss and joy of discovery, of connection. And maybe that only lasts for a second but sometimes it stays with you a little bit longer and you can be in that present moment of, could we call it, Divine inspiration?

When the Israelites lined up at the base of Mt. Sinai everything had been put in place for them (us) to be ready to receive the Gd’s revelation of Gd. In this week’s parshah, Yitro, we learn that all the steps had been taken to receive the bliss of the Divine spirit. The Israelites /We were ready to personally experience Gd and invited that revelation. Our tradition teaches us that we too were at Sinai and had our “Aha moment”. What does that mean? Of course, physically none of us were there at that time, if that time in fact actually happened. But, we can experience Divine revelation personally today. Well, maybe not today, today but in our lifetimes. Well, hopefully today, hopefully every day. When we align ourselves with our truest Self, with our heart of hearts, our Souls, if you will, we are aligning ourselves with the Divine Spirit that is in each of us. We are giving ourselves the opportunity to experience Gd and whatever that means. One of the beautiful things about the Revelation at Sinai is that, even though each person had/has their own unique experience we have a shared encounter which bonds us.  Each of us represent a shard of the Divine Spirit which when put together creates the power to light up the world.

In the yoga tradition we are taught that if we stand in alignment then breath and energy can move freely through our Chakras, the energy centers that occur along the central column of our bodies, parallel to our spines. We allow free motion of Spanda, the omnipresent energy of the universe (Called Shakti in the yoga tradition and Shekhina in the Jewish tradition), and Prana, life force, to move in from the crown of our head, the place of our Divine Inspriation all the way to our roots, our most basic, literally, down to earth needs and then back up again. We invite a connection to Gd with each inhale and allow it to permeate every cell. We give it back every time we exhale.

As we come to the mat and practice yoga today we will stand in alignment and we will  move and try to stay in that alignment with our highest Self, inviting a Revelation of God. We will remember our experience at Sinai and the ethics and moral codes taught to us as we stood at the base of the mountain. Hopefully, when we step off our mats, into the world, we will hold ourselves to that alignment no matter what position we are put in and continuously have those moments of bliss when the pieces of the puzzle fall in place.